Tuesday, December 08, 2015

A Parting Kiss

It’s been nine months today since Cindy passed. And as time goes by I still remember
things about our relationship that I hadn’t thought much about since her death. Over the past week or so I’ve been thinking more about our parting kiss.

Early in our relationship, Cindy and I made sure that whenever we parted, we’d go off
with a kiss, a parting kiss. I’m sure many others do too. It was something that we made an immediate part of our daily life. We tried to never forget it.

It didn’t matter, either, where we were going or how long we’d be gone. Going to the grocery store for a gallon of milk, heading to the gas station to fill up the gas can for the mower, or going off for a week at a training seminar, we made sure we exchanged our parting kisses.

Seeing the things that can happen in the world, you just never know. No regrets, no should have dones, no I wishes - a parting kiss every time.

Truth be told, Cindy remembered it every time, and I, on a rare occasion, would let it slip my mind because I was thinking “BIG THOUGHTS”. Going to the landfill, well come on, that required intense activity of the grey matter.

However, not to fear, (see Cindy…in above paragraph), Cindy would remember for me. As I climbed in my truck and hit the garage door button to bring it on down, I would see a set of feet pass by the gap before the garage door settled firmly on the concrete floor.

Think quickly, Dave. I’d try to bluff my way through and hit the button to raise that garage door and hurry back to give her that parting kiss. I would feign surprise to find her just inside the garage door. She would laugh. She knew better.

Or on a rarer occasion, I’d actually make it part way down the driveway and detect motion in my rear view mirror. Cindy would be standing at the top of the driveway with an expectant, half-way chagrined, look on her face. She wasn’t tapping her foot, but you could see it was floating around in the back of her mind to do just that. No escape from this one, or feigning any kind of surprise. I’d back my way up the driveway and lock lips with my girl.

Whether I reopened the garage door, or reversed that truck up the driveway, it didn’t matter. I loved seeing the glee in her face and the twinkle in her eye as I got closer. I’d share with her, and enjoy, that parting kiss, and then get on with my business.

Now before I leave the house, or after I get home, I’ll talk to Cindy while gazing at a photo of her. I’ll tell her what I have going on, where I’m going, how long I expect to be gone. And I’ll feel a connection to her like we’re chatting rather than me just spouting information. 

But, the parting kiss? It’s difficult to imagine that parting kiss. I miss it a lot.

The wonderful thing about that parting kiss? Sometimes, it wasn’t a parting kiss at all. It would start out as one. But, you know, maybe that business we had wasn’t all that important anyway. Maybe this parting kiss was really where our “business” for the day belonged. 

Cindy and I would walk back into the house, because we could do parting kisses another time. Right then, passionate kisses seemed a whole lot more fun. 

Friday, December 04, 2015


"Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes rise to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait, the grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas". - Henry Ford

I keep a handful of books near my bed for a ready bit of encouragement or humor. One of them is Peace of Mind: Daily Meditations for Easing Stress by Amy E. Dean.

In Peace of Mind there is a daily entry on a variety of topics and today's, December 4th, is about enthusiasm.

Dean wrote: "For the 6' 9 1/2" Boston Celtics superstar Larry Bird, who made millions playing with an amazing enthusiasm that included buzzer-beater shots and incredible lookaway passes, life hadn't always been easy. When he was eighteen, his father committed suicide. When he played college hoops, his coach told him he wasn't going to make it to the pros, and when he sought a career in professional basketball, he was told that he'd never be able to keep up. He faced countless injuries, operations to remove bone spurs from both heels, and major back surgery. Yet despite it all, Bird remained invincible on the court, a feat he attributed to a combination of enthusiastic physical and spiritual energy that made him feel like he was a champion every game."

Dean then goes on to ask what are you going to direct your enthusiasm towards? She suggests that you, "Find what gives you that thrill of being great, and then feel that thrill as much as you can!"

She says your meditative thoughts might be, "I don't have to be a superstar to feel good about something I do. Today, I'll feel the butterflies of excitement when I do something I'm good at."

I have a friend, Mary, who each year puts her enthusiasm into helping a local family shelter. She holds a party, at her expense, and the price of admission is an unwrapped toy to provide to the shelter for kids who otherwise wouldn't have a Christmas. It is difficult not to feed off of Mary's enthusiasm for this wonderful event. I'll enjoy shopping today for my price of admission to make someone's Christmas a little more special.